Don't These Things Have a Half-Life?

I guess I'm "it" now. It always seems to roll down hill doesn't it.
First Lex (the Four Striper) tasks Chap (the Three Striper) and now
Chap tasks me (the Two Striper) with this "thing." Answering the
questions will be easy. Its finding people junior to me (that know how
to blog) and have time on their hands that will be the killer.

Anyway, here's the deal. There is a list of fifteen possible
professions I might like to be in. I'm to pick five from the list and
write about why I would like to do each of the five. After that I pick
three worthy souls (victims) to carry on with the torture.

So here is the list:
If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be an astronaut…
If I could be a world famous blogger…
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…
If I could be married to any current famous political figure…

Numero Uno: If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...
Saddam's Tribunal - Self explanatory.

Numero Dos: If I could be an astronaut...
Be the one to write "Kilroy was here" at the face on Mars.

Numero Tres: If I could be married to any current famous political figure...
Hillary - Just so I could divorce her. Must.Control.Fist.of.Death

Numero Quatro: If I could be an athelete...
As a life-long cyclist, I'm thinking Tour de France here. Lance is retiring after this year, so we need another 'merican to keep on sticking it to the French.

Numero Cinco (for Cinco de Mayo): If I could be a chef...
Here's my real chance for posterity – invent a drink that would be better than a 32 oz. Margarita after 100 days at sea!

Now, for the lucky three. How about Chaotic Synoptic Activity, Major Mike, and Kevin (hey, you just got back – I bet you have lots of time on your hands.) OK, so I didn't find anyone junior to me. They're all busy fighting the war. You retirees and reservists will just have to take up the slack.
I am now entering the fallout shelter to await the slings and arrows of outraged milblogers.